Behind the Big Top
by Halawen
Summary: Travel back to 1943 and a traveling circus pulling up to Toronto. Clare's mother forced her into this life but she found friends and even love. Her mother wants her to be with Jake, the managers son, but Clare wants to be with Owen "Muscles" Milligan. Period fic one shot, drama and fluff. Read the A/Ns important. With Fitz, Bianca, Adam, Drew, Fiona, Imogen, Eli & Maya.


**Sadly this is not only the last shot for Clowen one shot week but also for the next two weeks while I'm on vacation. Don't forget to vote in the polls on the DeGrassi Saviors website which come down Friday**

 **Legal: I own nothing but the idea**

 **Important things to know before reading:**

 ***This is a period fic taking place in 1943**

 ***Because of the time period Adam is just a boy not transgender**

 ***Clare and Adam are sixteen**

 ***Owen, Drew, Eli, Bianca, Imogen and Fiona are seventeen**

 ***Jake is eighteen and Maya fourteen**

 **Slang Glossary (some is circus slang some is 1940s slang)~**

 ***Carry a Torch ~ Have a crush**

 ***Pitchmen ~ Someone who makes a pitch to sell something in the city or during the circus**

 ***Roustabout ~ Circus Laborer**

 ***** **Boss Canvasman ~ The man in charge of making sure the canvas goes up properly and doesn't come down short of a major blow down. Also decides on the placement of tents on the lot, and sometimes functions as lot manager for the sideshow**

 ***Equestrian Director ~ The "stage manager" of the show, in formal riding wear (top hat, red jacket, etc.) who decided and signaled the pacing of the acts**

 ***Gaffer ~ Circus manager**

 ***24-hour Man ~ Employee who travels the route 24 hours before the rest of the circus, putting up roadside arrows to direct travel and making sure the lot is ready**

 ***Fat-Head ~ Idiot, Stupid Person**

 **Bally ~ A platform at the entrance to a circus or sideshow where a circus "talker" stands to deliver a prepared spiel, or ballyhoo, advertising the show, hoping to attract a crowd**

 ***Ballyhoo ~ Literally the prepared speech delivered from the bally. Also any form of hype used to advertise the show**

 ***Performance Top ~ a tent where a circus performer or sideshow artist does their act out of the view of the midway**

 ***Dressing Top ~ dressing room for the artists**

 ***** **Gone with the Wind ~ to run off with the money**

 ***First of May ~** **A novice performer or worker in his first season. Shows usually play the season's opening spot on the first of May, so the term means someone "green" who is new to circus life**

 ***Lettuce ~ Money**

 **Behind the Big Top**

 **(CLARE)**

"Clare we're about to enter Toronto get into your costume and get on your horse," Mom orders coming into my trailer just after they stop.

"Yes mother," I sigh getting up from my bed and putting my book down.

"I'll send Jake into help you," she says before leaving my trailer.

"I don't need help changing into my costume or getting on the horse," I reply with disgust at the thought of Jake being in the trailer.

My father died of tuberculosis when I was little; it killed my sister too and left me and Mom on our own. She got a job at a factory but hated it and when she missed a house payment we got evicted. We traveled south from our home in Saint John, New Brunswick to Quebec City and that's where we found Martin's Magnificent Circus. Mom met Glen Martin, the owner and manager of the circus, he hired Mom on as a Boss Canvasman after a few months she became Equestrian Director and a couple months ago she became Gaffer. We first joined up when I was ten and I'm sixteen now. Last year when I began developing Jake took notice of me, and my mom took notice of his notice she's been pushing me to be with him ever since, even though she's got a not so secret romance with Jake's father Glen.

"Be nice to Jake," Mom replies before leaving my trailer. When she's gone I lock the door and change into my costume. I hear Jake knock and tell him just a moment.

I started as a skater and a clown, a skater wasn't bad I just skated on roller skates around the ring. Before Dad died he took me and Darcy skating and had bought us skates. I was good enough that I could skate backwards and entertain the crowd. They put me in a cute outfit and I kept the crowd smiling between acts. While doing that I started training as a trapeze artist and trick rider. I moved up from skater and clown to the star attraction a little over three years ago, now I get top billing as a trick rider and trapeze artist, with the Torres brothers who do the trapeze with me.

"I'm in my costume I don't need your help," I tell him opening the door.

"You're mom told me to come help you, you should have let me in," Jake says.

"I can get my own costume on and I don't want you in my trailer," I hiss at him.

"You should be nicer to me Clare," Jake tells me leaning an arm above my head on the trailer and hovering over me, trapping me a little against the wall. "I can make sure you're a star," Jake says fingering the material on my bodice.

"I'm already a star," I reply trying to push him away but he puts his other arm down and now I am trapped.

"Maybe but there's more I can do for you," Jake replies.

"You alright Clare?" Owen asks coming over and putting a hand at the back of Jake's neck to pull him away from me.

"Watch it Muscles, I can have Dad fire you," Jake threatens getting out of Owen's grasp.

"He'll never fire me I bring in too many female customers, all the ones with lots of money who like my muscles," Owen grins taking my hand and pulling me to him. "Eli's waiting for you, I'll see after the parade," Owen says kissing my cheek right in front of Jake.

Owen, better known as Muscles Milligan, is the strong man he lifts weights and bends bars. For two bits he'll lift you above his head, he can do two or sometimes three people at a time, he can lift up to four on a balanced bench. He also swallows swords and is a fire eater, lesser acts and therefor lessor billing but it brings in more money for the circus, for Glen rather and he doesn't have to pay as many performers. To my mother's distaste Owen and I are sweet on each other. Our affections are not secret from everyone but that we are romantically involved is, with some help from our friends.

"You and your mother are eating with me and Dad, wear something pretty," Jake tells me before walking away.

"He's such a creep. My mom's bananas for trying to push me onto him while she carries a torch for Glen, Jake could end up as my stepbrother," I comment to Owen as he walks me to Eli.

"I don't think your mom cares but you know I won't let that happen. If I have to strangle them both," Owen says lifting me onto my horse.

"Problems with Jake again?" Eli asks.

"As always," I reply. Owen smiles at me and goes to his trailer. His trailer pulls a platform behind it with his banner, as we parade through town Owen will pose and shows off his muscles.

Eli and I ride through town at the front, doing a few simple tricks to entice people to the circus. Eli is a trick rider with me, an orphan like the other kids. Glen only hires orphans and runaways because no one is looking for them. No one will miss them or ask too many questions or stand up for them. Apart from being a trick rider Eli is a tightrope walker and works the midway part time. I carried a torch for him for a while but he and Imogen have been together a couple of years now, Eli's become a good friend though and he makes a great trick riding partner.

We know the route because the 24-hour men marked the way. Older than most of us Glen hires the dim-witted and slow, too stupid to know Glen takes advantage of them, making them work hard for nothing more than a meal and a bed. We always parade through town and set up on the other side, it's a way of enticing customers to the circus. We get to the lot where the circus is being set up, the 24-hour men already starting on the rigging. Eli and I stop the horses and hop down. While the tents get set up and the trailers pulled into formation we begin practicing. Every space is a little different and the animals have to get used to it. Eli and I let the horses rest a bit and I return to my trailer for clothes I can rehearse in. Meeting Eli and taking the horses around to practice our act, we have a new trick and we need to practice it before the show. We get on the horses riding them around a bit and then begin our tricks, we're about to practice the new trick when Jake appears from behind a tree and spooks my horse.

"What's wrong with you, she could have been hurt you fat-head," Eli yells at Jake hopping off his horse to hit Jake.

"Eli stop, I'm okay but you need to leave us Jake so we can rehearse and the horses don't like you," I tell Jake.

"Your mom says I should watch so I can give you the best introduction," Jake replies.

"Fine watch but stay out of the way," I reply.

Eli and I practice for an hour and then he goes to check on Imogen and get some food before the show. Imogen's been with the circus for almost ten years and done just about everything. Currently she's a contortionist along with Fiona; Imogen also does the bed of nails and the midway. Fiona is also a fire dancer and works in the knife throwing act.

"Come I'll escort you to dinner," Jake says.

"I need to bathe and change first," I reply.

"I can help with that too," Jake grins reaching for me but loses his grin when a knife pins his shirt sleeve to the tree near us. "Fitz watch where you're throwing those damn things," Jake growls while I laugh.

"I hit my mark," Fitz smiles, "can I walk you to your trailer Clare?"

"Thank you Fitz," I grin taking his arm and walking away from Jake who's still trying to get his sleeve loose from the knife in the tree.

Fitz is a runaway, after many years of various odd jobs Fitz found the circus. He started in the midway and as a bally, worked the sideshow for a bit and honed his skill at throwing knives. He throws them at Fiona who is on a spinning wheel and is also his girlfriend; he's also an animal trainer. Fitz has a way with animals it's almost like he can understand them.

Fitz walks me to my trailer and I grab my robe going out to the showers to clean up. Owen sees me in the showers and comes to stand nearby to keep Jake away. There's only 3 showers and all outdoors, sometimes we get into town for a bath but that doesn't happen often. Owen escorts me back to my trailer and I lock the door to change for dinner. I hate having dinner in Glen and Jake's trailer even if it is better food than everyone else gets. Jake sits next to me, his hand on my leg and I want to stab it with my fork but I know what would happen if I do. So I sit there quietly and excuse myself as soon as I'm done eating.

"Clare don't be rude sit back down," Mom orders.

"I need to practice with Adam and Drew Mother; we have to make sure the riggers secured everything the right way. Unless you want me to fall and break my neck in a tent full of people tonight?"

"She's right she needs to practice and we're done eating anyway. Jake see that everything's ready for tonight," Glen says and I get up from the table. I walk to my trailer and Mom follows me, coming in and locking the door behind her.

"You better start showing them some respect; don't you see what I'm trying to do for our future?"

"If you want to run the circus and get us more money then marry Glen," I reply.

"He hasn't asked me yet; just marrying Glen may not be enough. Jake is his son he'll inherit ownership, Jake runs things anyway Glen just counts the money. Owen will never be anything but you could have a life with Jake," Mom tells me.

"Jake won't ever be anything but a ringmaster so long as his father is alive. You talk like Jake has money and can give me an easy life," I respond.

"They do have money, I know they have money, Glen treats me well and if you'd be with Jake instead of carrying a torch for Owen you might get luxuries too," Mom says.

"I'd rather have a hard life with Owen than whore myself out to Jake for a silk robe, steak dinner and a bathtub like you did with Glen," I spit back at her and Mom responds by slapping me across the face.

"You will be nicer to Jake, you will show him and Glen, and me some respect. You will spend time with Jake, make him feel good, make him feel like you want him or I will make things even more miserable for you and your friends, all of them. I heard some shows have a dancing act, the girls get naked and dance for men, even bed them for the right price. If I tell Glen about it, make him think about all the money you and Bianca, Fiona and Imogen could bring in he'd do it. I'm thinking about our future and you should be too," Mom tells me before storming out.

I start to change into my costume but I'm shaking slightly, not just from Mother's threat or her slap but what she meant by all of it. I grab my costume and walk to the big top, Drew and Adam are already here and in costume. Both look over at me and come to my sides.

Drew and Adam are brothers but not by blood. Their parents were killed and they were sent to an orphanage, they were going to be separated so they ran. They were the first friends I made here and they've become so close to me I almost think of them as brothers. Like everyone else they have more than one job, they work the trapeze with me and they're jugglers, Drew also does lasso tricks before Eli and I do trick riding and Adam rides the unicycle, usually while juggling. Drew's been dating Bianca for about three years now; she's a lion tamer and snake charmer. Adam doesn't have a girl but I know he carries a torch for Maya, she joined up a few months back she's a midway worker, ticket taker things like that. She'll continue with the menial things until she learns a trade act although sometimes Glen has her sing in the midway.

"What's the matter Clare?" Drew asks.

"My mom has gone nuts. I don't know how far she'll go, she has plans for more than just me, for the whole circus and she doesn't care about anyone else," I tell them.

"She still forcing Jake on you?" Adam questions.

"More than forcing she told me if I don't start being nice to him she'll make things miserable for everyone. Threatened to talk Glen into adding one of those dancing acts where the girls show everything starring me, Bianca, Fiona and Imogen."

"She's just talking, and if she's serious then we'll make sure it doesn't happen," Adam assures me.

"I don't think we have much of a choice we don't have any power in this place or anywhere. Come on let's practice did you guys check the rigging?"

"Yep all done everything's secure. We don't have enough time to run through everything so let's warm up but you better change first," Drew comments.

Which is exactly what we do, I change behind a piece of scenery while Drew and Adam keep watch and then we practice a couple of the more dangerous tricks. Then it's show time. When the show is really going and the midway is lit up it's almost magical, it's about the only thing I like about this life the only other thing being the friends I have.

"Looks like a big crowd tonight," Fitz says coming in with Eli.

"Yeah the big cities really draw them in, they just love staring at us freaks," Eli comments.

"And they pay good money for it," Jake speaks up. "Shouldn't most of you be in the freak show or the little top doing your opening acts? Main show doesn't start for an hour. Jugglers get in your costumes get down to the little top. Eli they need you in the midway run the milk bottle booth until I come get you. Fitz go get ready to throw your knives and Bianca go grab a snake and get all the men with big pockets spending money."

"He kicked all of us out but you," Adam remarks in a low voice.

"Come with us, watch Owen and the rest of us until it's time for the main show," Fitz says without being quiet. I almost say yes but I see Mom watching us.

"It's okay I'll be fine, you guys go I'll see you at show time," I tell them.

 **(OWEN)**

"Step right up and see Muscles Milligan the world's strongest man," my bally says his ballyhoo to the crowd.

While he attracts people to my platform I flex my muscles a little and give them a preview. When there's enough people in my performance top, all of which paid to get in, I go in to do my act. Lifting dumbbells and bending bars, breaking boards and for an extra fee lifting people who get their pictures taken with me lifting them over my head. Each show is about ten minutes and I do two in a row before taking a break. Bianca is on her platform kissing a little snake and charming the men more than the snakes. Adam is riding along the midway on his unicycle and juggling; he gets off and starts juggling with his brother which attracts them some attention. Imogen must be at the midway right now because I don't see her. I go around to the little tops back door and look in watching Fitz and Fiona in their knife throwing act. Fitz throws the last knife with his blindfold on and everyone claps. Fitz lets Fiona down and they take their bow.

"I'm going to the big top to keep an eye on Clare," Fitz tells Fiona when they come backstage. It's not until he says this that I realize Clare is alone in the big top and probably with Jake.

"Why didn't she come here and the watch the acts?" I question.

"She said she'd be okay but I don't trust Jake. Adam and Drew told me Helen threatened her earlier, scared her enough that she apparently took the risk of being alone with Jake," Fitz informs me.

"It won't be long before Helen just forces Clare to marry Jake. I will not let that happen, I'll kill him if he even touches her," I growl.

"You got more shows soon, cool down I'll look out for Clare," Fitz assures me.

"Thanks," I smile.

"Fitz will take care of her, I have to get ready for fire dancing," Fiona comments.

I have to get back to the strongman platform anyway. I do two more shows then three shows of sword swallowing and fire eating. I'm done for the night now unless Jake or Glen wants me to go on again. Since I'm done I go to the big top to watch the show and I get there just in time to catch the end of Clare and Eli doing their trick riding. While the horses are still going Eli leaps off his horse and then Clare leaps off of hers and Eli catches her. Everyone cheers and claps including me, I whistle and cheer for them grinning at Clare when she comes backstage.

"Spectacular as always," I tell them.

"Thanks," Clare grins as Jake goes out to the center ring.

"Truly amazing tricks and now be ready to be astounded and amazed by the taming of exotic wild animals. As Fitz the Fearsome and Bianca of the Beasts tame the wildest of wild animals," Jake says and we watch Fitz and Bianca go out to the center ring.

"Fitz said Helen threatened you, scared you into time alone with Jake?" I query in a low voice.

"It's fine, it was nothing," she tells me.

"Clare what did she say? What did he do?"

"Mom told me to play nice with Jake," Clare replies.

"She always says that and you never listened before."

"She's getting more insistent a…"

"Clare," Jake calls to her cutting her off, "into your next costume the trapeze act is soon. Eli you're on next."

Clare gives me a smile goes out to the dressing top to change into her costume. Jake gives me a glare but doesn't say anything. Eli's tightrope walker costume is on under his trick rider costume so he just takes that off and we watch Fitz and Bianca. They finish with Bianca sticking her head in a lion's mouth and Fitz riding a bear out of the ring. Jake announces Eli's tightrope act and Clare comes back in but Helen's with her. A few minutes later Drew and Adam come in dressed and ready for the trapeze act. Eli finishes, and people clap and cheer for him.

"And now for some amazing aerial acrobatics please welcome The Tough Trapezist Torres Brothers and the beauty of the big top, the one and only Agile Angel of the Air," Jake announces and then Clare, Adam and Drew take to the ring.

I watch them climb the ladders and begin their act, Adam on one side with Clare and Drew on the other. They swing on the trapeze and then Clare stands up jumping off the trapeze and spinning in the air, Drew hangs down and catches her and people cheer. For ten minutes people crane their necks up to watch them, Clare getting tossed from brother to brother, standing on the trapeze and flying off before being caught by Adam or Drew. The brothers stand on the trapeze and jump off to the other so they switch sides and it all ends with the final aerial summersault into the net below. Everyone cheers and claps, hollers and whistles as Clare and the brothers do further acrobatics out of the net and take their bow.

"Thank you everyone for coming that was the last performance of the night under the big top but be sure to check out the midway. Play some games, enjoy some food, watch the girl on a bed of nails, the exotic snake charmer and the jugglers," Jake says as Clare, Drew and Adam come backstage.

"I love watching you fly," I tell Clare as she comes off stage.

"And I love being up there," she grins.

"Clare come here," Helen orders and Clare sighs walking to her mother.

"Owen, Drew, Eli and Adam get to the midway your night isn't over yet," Jake tells us and I clench my fist.

"Don't, Helen will have you arrested," Drew says catching my arm before I hit him.

The three of them pull me out and we go to the midway, I'm still in my costume for sword swallowing and fire eating. The little top is closed now but the midway will go another hour and we all preform on our platforms. It's rather late now and the crowd starts to thin but they still stop to watch us. At one in the morning the roustabouts, riggers and 24-hour men kick everyone out. I don't even change just go straight to Clare's trailer; I'm only a few steps away when I hear her screaming.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

I run the last few steps and rip the trailer door from it's hinges and storm in. Clare is on her bed, her dress ripped and Jake on top of her.

"Get off of her you ass," I growl at Jake.

"Helen said I could," Jake replies like that's going to stop me from killing him.

I reach out grabbing his neck and pull him off of Clare, then I push him into the wall as hard as I can. I slam him into the wall again and he goes unconscious. I take Clare's hand and pull her to me; she clings to me weeping on my chest a minute.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes I am now but my mother will be angry, so will Glen and you'll be punished. Mom will let him again; she's forcing me to spend time with him. She wants us to take over the circus but she'll be worse than Glen."

"We're leaving then, tonight. All of us are leaving," I assure Clare.

"How can we? We have nowhere to go and no money."

"We can get money and go anywhere we want. We're getting out of here, we'll get jobs with another circus and when we have enough money we'll start our own circus. Change quickly and pack only what you can carry and grab all the lettuce you have," I tell Clare.

While she's doing that I pick up the still unconscious Jake and carry him to his trailer. I lock the door from the outside and leave him returning to Clare's trailer.

"What about the others? What about my mother and Glen?" Clare asks coming out with a carpet bag.

"We're all leaving together I promise now come on," I reply taking her hand. We run to the bus where the midway workers and First of May's sleep. "Maya," I call into the bus and she comes out a moment later.

"What's going on?" She asks.

I take her hand and pull her away from the bus so no one else hears. I tell her we're leaving and I go to Bianca, Fiona and Imogen's trailer, only Glen, Helen, Jake and Clare have their own trailers the rest of us share. Bianca opens the door in a robe.

"Owen what's going on?"

"We're gone with the wind tonight; pack quickly and get all the lettuce you have. Where's Helen?" I ask looking at Clare.

"In Glen's trailer," Clare says.

"Good then the four of you go to Helen's trailer and get all the cash she has and anything we can sell. Bianca meet me at the cages, we'll create a diversion you four take the truck and get to the train station, buy ten train tickets for the next train to anywhere. We'll catch up with you as soon as we take care of Helen and Glen," I instruct them.

"What if there isn't another train until morning? What about the riggers and roustabouts?" Clare asks.

"We're getting out of here, if there isn't another train until morning stay there in the truck. We'll follow in another and we'll drive out here, we'll find a safe place to cross the border. If necessary we go to Montreal and contact our Romani friends for fake papers. I'm going to round up the others, the four of you stay together," I insist.

"Owen," Clare says grabbing my arm and her voice shakes, "don't leave me. If Glen or my mother catches you…"

I stop her with a kiss, a firm but loving one on her lips, "I will see you again."

Bianca, Fiona and Imogen bring Clare and Maya into their trailer and I go to Drew and Adam's trailer. I tell them we're leaving and to pack and everything I told the others. Then I go to my trailer which I share with Fitz and Eli.

"You were with Clare a long time," Fitz says.

"Her mother finally stopped caring and let Jake have her. We're gone with the wind tonight, pack fast and grab what lettuce you have. Bianca will stay with us to create a diversion and take care of Glen and Helen. Clare and the other girls are going ahead to train station."

Eli and Fitz hop up and we pack quickly then Drew, Adam and Eli run to collect the costumes while Bianca, Fitz and I let the animals loose. This is our diversion and it brings Glen and Helen running out of the trailer when the roustabouts, riggers and 24-hour men start yelling. Before we go to their trailer I grab the chloroform from the medical trailer. Mostly used to subdue the animals tonight it will be used to knock out Glen and Helen and to give us a head start. Fitz and Bianca are called over to help get the animals back as I knew they would be. I meet up with Drew, Adam and Eli who have cleaned all the cash from the cash box and all the lettuce they could find. I get the chloroform ready and we pack the truck, Clare and the other girls should be gone now.

"How did the animals even get out? Whoever put them away will be punished. Fitz and Bianca will be docked pay for any damages," Glen is saying as he and Helen walk back to his trailer after the animals have been caught again.

Fitz and I are hiding inside; as soon as they enter we pour chloroform into rags and grab them holding it over their nose and mouth. They fight for a second and then pass out; we toss them on the bed and then leave blocking the door from the outside.

"Let's go quickly, they should be out until morning but let's not take any chances. Glen still has a few friends with the 24-hour men and a few of the riggers," I say and we run to the truck where the others are waiting.

We drive to the train station, I see the other truck and when we go into the station Clare runs over to me. I take her into my arms and kiss her sweet lips again.

"The next train isn't until five, that's over two hours from now. When we got here there wasn't even a ticket master, what do we do Owen?" Fiona asks.

"We'll take the trucks, split up evenly among them and drive together as far as we can go. We go north to Montreal and our Romani friends, they'll help us. Then we cross the border, find a new circus or start our own now. Clare, Adam and Drew are the best on a trapeze; no one does better trick riding than Clare and Eli. No one is better animal trainers than Fitz and Bianca. We all have multiple skills and most of us have been with the circus for years. Most importantly we stick together; we're family more than ever now. We go now, five to each truck, three in front and two in the back," I command and everyone goes out to the trucks. I stop Clare before we get in the truck, turning her to face me under the moonlight. "I love you; I have for a very long time. We're starting a new life now and I want to be with you," I tell her getting on one knee and producing a ring from my pocket. It's small and simple, I bought it several months ago and now I slip it onto her finger. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes," Clare grins pulling me up and putting her arms around my neck, "yes I will marry you. I love you Owen."

I lift her up, holding her tight in my arms and our lips join. Kissing my fiancé in the moonlight I know all our lives are going to be better from this moment on.

 **I hope you all enjoyed the Clowen shots this is it until the 20** **th** **as I am now on vacation. I will be doing a few things on the DeGrassi Saviors website during that time, and will check PMs and respond to any reviews but nothing will be posted. I will then return on the 20** **th** **with** _ **Until the Moment I Found You**_ **.**


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